R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Your Identity

Boundaries: Seven

By establishing boundaries, we communicate to others how we expect to be treated and what behaviors are acceptable.

Through boundaries, we articulate our needs, preferences, and limits, which are all fundamental aspects of our identity.

Boundaries are protective and self-respecting because they define our limits and create a safe space where our needs, values, and well-being are made a priority to ourselves, and as much of a priority as someone else’s needs. When we are able to identify our values and set our boundaries, in a way that’s clear to others, we communicate how we expect to be treated and what behaviors are acceptable.

Read the last blog, Value - What’s Actually Important to You - to understand the role that your personal values play in your boundaries.

Values-based boundaries protect us from potential harm, such as emotional manipulation, disrespect, or overextending ourselves, which can lead to stress and burnout. They serve as a buffer against negativity, ensuring that we maintain control over our lives and decisions. They help us prevent feeling exploited, getting mixed up in misunderstandings, and feeling stuck in unhealthy relationships, safeguarding our mental and emotional health.

Most importantly, boundaries are an expression of self-respect. They empower us by demonstrate that we value ourselves and our time, recognizing that our needs and feelings are just as important as those of others. By setting clear limits, we develop our self-worth and dignity, rejecting situations that compromise our integrity or well-being.

How is this related to identity?

Our values are core to our identity - if you struggle to identify what they are, you may also be struggling to identify who you are. Without that connection, you don’t have a full understanding what’s important to you You can’t then make decisions and choices in full authenticity; you may feel like you’re beginning to drift, or have that pit in your stomach that tells you you’re off-course - but you won’t know what the correct course is.

Values, and boundaries form your character. You’ll have experienced an emotional response to an event; maybe discomfort, sadness, or anger, when something feels unjust, unfair or untrue, but may not yet have made the connection that one of your core values is being activated. People who value honesty really struggle with liars, until they have their emotional boundaries in place. And they tend to identify as wanting (they may still have some work to do here themselves) to be an honest person.

So you can see how they’re all connected?

Boundaries and identity are deeply intertwined, as boundaries are an expression of who we are and what we value. They define the limits of our personal space, distinguishing where we end and others begin. Through boundaries, we articulate our needs, preferences, and limits, which are all fundamental aspects of our identity.

Setting boundaries involves recognizing and asserting our unique desires, beliefs, and comfort zones. This process requires self-awareness and an understanding of what is important to us. As we establish and maintain these boundaries, we clarify and reinforce our sense of self, making it clear to ourselves and others what we stand for and what we will not tolerate.

Boundaries also play a crucial role in protecting and nurturing our identity. They allow us to create a safe space where we can explore and develop our true selves without undue influence or pressure from external sources. This protection is essential for maintaining authenticity and ensuring that our actions and decisions are aligned with our core values and beliefs.  It’s easy to be influenced by others’, until you have your own values, boundaries and identity in your sights. This is where resilience is required (and will be the topic of future blogs).

In essence, boundaries are both a manifestation and a safeguard of our identity. They empower us to live authentically and assert our individuality, while also ensuring that our personal integrity remains intact in various interactions and relationships.

Boundaries: Starter Workbook - a practical investigation

Boundaries: Full Workbook - let’s get your boundaries in place.

Values: Start Workbook - Find your Top 10.

Values: Full Workbook - coming soon!