Values -What’s Actually Important to You?

Boundaries: Six

When boundaries are values-aligned, it means that the limits we set in our interactions and behaviors directly reflect our core beliefs and principles.

Values-aligned boundaries are not arbitrary; they are deeply connected to what we hold dear, such as respect, honesty, kindness, or self-care.

These boundaries help us stay true to ourselves, ensuring that our actions and decisions are consistent with our values, which in turn fosters authenticity and integrity. But how do we know what our core values truly are?

If you look at a list of human values, there are going to be SO many you value, which makes it a confusing process to decide - they’re all important! How do I discount something that I value in order to break it down to my ‘Top 5’? And why should I?

Well, it’s a good idea to do this because our deepest-held values drive our behaviour and tell us, and everyone else, who we are ‘to our core’: they’re the values we would not be ourselves without, the ones that are non-negotiable to us, in ourselves and in our closest relationships. The ones that make us who we want to be, at our best.

For example, we may value kindness in a relationship, but couldn’t live without total honesty.

Example: Respect

An individual who values respect may set a boundary around how they expect to be treated in conversations. They might refuse to engage in discussions where they are belittled or spoken to disrespectfully. For instance, they may establish a rule that they will not tolerate yelling or name-calling during disagreements. This boundary is values-aligned because it reflects their belief in respectful communication and mutual dignity.

Example: Honesty

Someone who prioritizes honesty might have a boundary against engaging in deceptive behavior or allowing others to lie to them. They might end a relationship if they discover consistent dishonesty, as it contradicts their core value of truthfulness. This boundary protects their commitment to honesty, ensuring that they build relationships based on trust and openness.

Example 3: Self-Care

A person who values self-care may set boundaries around their time and energy, particularly to avoid burnout. They might allocate specific periods for relaxation and refuse to take on extra work during these times, even if pressured by others. This boundary reflects their value of maintaining mental and physical well-being, demonstrating that they prioritize their health over external demands.)

Values-aligned boundaries are crucial because they help us live authentically, protect our well-being, and build meaningful relationships. By aligning boundaries with values, w e can navigate life with greater clarity and purpose, knowing that our actions consistently reflect who we are and what we stand for.

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Next: Self-Respect & Protection