Communication - Speak Up
Boundaries: Nine
Communication skills are crucial in negotiating and adjusting boundaries. Our relationships are always changing, and our boundaries may need to be changed and adapted as our circumstances change.
The connection between boundaries and communication is fundamental in establishing and maintaining healthy relationships. They are the limits we set to define who we are (or want to be), what is acceptable to us, and what is unacceptable to us. Communication is the tool we use to express these. Effective communication of our boundaries helps to ensure that others understand our needs, expectations, and limits, as much as possible.
There may be language barriers, in terms of language skills, awareness of psychology, different meanings assigned to words and phrases that we grew up with; we all have differing interpretations of words, and so we must say clearly and simply what we mean. If we can take account of the other person’s understanding of our words, ideas, thoughts and wants, it goes a long way to developing mutual respect and hugely reduces misunderstandings.
The key, as you learn, is to not take comments or arguments personally - yes, they feel directed at you, but people blame or attack from a place of fear, guilt, or anger. Unconscious communication is the cause of many conflicts; people can be so unaware of the effect of what they say, and we can take comments as critical when they weren’t intended to be. Conscious Communication is a key learning for most people, and will be the subject of future blogs. You can also learn about them on the homepage.
When boundaries are communicated clearly, it sets the tone for how we wish to be treated. For instance, asserting a boundary might involve politely but firmly stating our availability, such as, "I can only take calls during business hours." This clarity prevents people overstepping and helps them navigate our personal and professional limits. Clear, and importantly consistent, communication of boundaries also empowers us to protect our well-being, as it allows us to voice discomfort and advocate for ourselves without guilt or ambiguity - we learn to speak up fr ourselves without guilt or shame. We learn to look out for ourselves the way we would for someone we love.
On the other hand, unclear or un-communicated boundaries can lead to confusion, resentment, and conflict. For example, if we feel overwhelmed by constant demands and obligations but don’t feel able to communicate our need for alone time, we may find ourselves feeling resentful towards those who are calling for our attention.
This lack of communication can result in strained relationships and emotional distress. Read Boundaries are like bridges… — Somatic Therapy, Positive Intelligence & Conscious Life Coaching. (lettingthelight.in) for more.
Open and honest communication facilitates these discussions, allowing us to express our needs and find a mutually acceptable balance.
In summary, the connection between boundaries and communication lies in the ability to articulate our needs and expectations clearly, respectfully, with self-advocacy and, importantly, empathy towards each other.
Effective communication ensures that we are understood and respected, fostering healthier relationships, reducing stress, and promoting emotional well-being. Through clear communication, we not only protect ourselves but also cultivate an environment of mutual respect and understanding.
Next: Boundaries & Relationships